Self-Perception
Male Pattern Baldness
*man looks into the mirror each morning and is shocked by what he sees*
*one morning, a shadow appears in the reflection; the man cries out*
Neo:
“What is happening to me?”
Morpheus:
“You are the One, Neo.”
Yeah I’m losing my hair. Slowly, but surely. It’s not like clumps of it are falling out in the shower, but as someone who spends a considerable amount of time looking at themself in the mirror, it’s safe to say the prophecy will be fulfilled. It was written in stone in ancient Mesopotamia: most men will experience some form of hair loss, and there’s no escaping it. Could it all be a matter of perspective?
Remember that time you had some nasty blemish on your face walking into school? You thought it was the size of Mount Everest. You thought it might have a gravitational pull. For all we knew, it could have had a mind of its own. You did what you could to cover it up, but your own perception of this thing was unconquerable. After bringing attention to it in the midst of a harmless conversation with a friend, you learned that it really wasn’t that bad. They told you it’s barely noticeable, and truth be told, they were probably right! We are often the ones who push that microscope onto ourselves. Our biggest critic. Not the other way around.
So, introduce a little extra chaos into your life as a young man who is seeing signs of that hairline receding like soldiers fleeing combat. It’s embarrassing, but more than anything, it’s a sign of unwanted maturation. Not like I would know this, but I assume this is how women think of wrinkles? Those early indications that life is catching up with you? Either way, when the hair becomes thinner, we all get sus. I’m guilty of that, and with my patented self-deprecating humor my mom loves so much, I do call attention to it as a coping mechanism. Here’s why that’s pretty stupid.
Who really cares about it? Who is examining your head like the middle school nurse searching for lice? Nobody, fam! It’s a part of life. Death, taxes, and men losing their hair in painstakingly slow fashion. But it’s far bigger than losing hair and not having your lettuce fresh. This bleeds into our perception of what we do, how we act, what job we have, who we date, what drinks we order, how many likes we get… the list goes on. It’s so synonymous to this weird hairline example. Lofty, sure, but hey, you’re the one reading the article.
If we chose to overlook these inevitable signs of maturation, wouldn’t we be better off? Conversely, if we plotted ahead, accomplishing our goals and making things happen without worrying about public opinion, wouldn’t we be stronger? We are our own biggest supporters and harshest reviewers. Lastly, for the love of God, don’t look longingly at another person’s situation with envy. Men, don’t look at the finance bro with luscious flow and feel inadequate. Close friend of mine told me, “comparison is the thief of joy.” Shit was nuts. She dropped it in passing like a handheld Yoda.
About The Series
Sometimes you gotta set your own deadlines to get where you wanna go. 15 articles for 15 weeks, all randomly selected until we reach the last. Maybe then I’ll form the habit? Each week selected and announced through TikTok if anyone cares.
Graham Olney
Graham is the host of Tough To Say (sorry, Barry). In hopes of forming better writing habits, he’s committing to a 15 week self-imposed program to sharpen the skills.