What Is You Doing, Sketchball?
Dealing With Anxiety
Welp, it’s time to talk about something I’m NOT so great at: managing anxiety. Past generations would have just rubbed some dirt into it, maybe went and played stickball in the backyard and beat up the foreign kid. Our generation took a much different approach. One of acceptance, awareness, and transparency (probably some other things, too). Bringing these things to light has created a culture of change, but it has also led to some unintentional blunders as well.
The Not So Nice
While it is absolutely crucial to spread awareness of how anxiety affects our lives, it’s not necessary to play the victim. I’m sure this won’t ring true with those younger than me, but as a 24-year-old dude on TikTok, I’m shocked at how toxic it’s become. This “woe is me” philosophy perpetuated to either clout-chase or use as an improper sounding board for those seeking comfort. It’s identical to when your boy put that all black screen on snapchat that said “yo, I’m not okay right now, but don’t hit me up to check in.” How is it different? That’s a person who’s looking for attention (clout) or who doesn’t know where else to go to find solutions.
We’ve also influenced teenagers to default to syndromes, diseases, and conditions. How many kids at 14 are prescribed some form of anti-depressant? You might not think to trace that back to a social media platform, but the fact is that behavior exists within an echo chamber that does more harm than good. I’m just in it for the memes, fam.
But you didn’t come to read about our shortcomings. Let’s chat about managing this beast.
The Recognition
Not to sound like a 12-step program here, but the first step to identifying anxiety or fear in your life is simply acknowledging it. Took me years to look myself in the mirror and admit it. No joke, I had such bad anxiety my first internship that I was having these self-perceived heart palpitations. Weed probably wasn’t helping either. As a reaction to that, I went to a fucking cardiologist. I was 20! This guy strapped a heart monitor to me for 2 weeks, and at the end of the study, he let me know I’m a normal, healthy kid.
Those words melted the anxiety away from my heart, but it manifested elsewhere, and it continues to latch on to areas of my mind and body. Like I can literally feel it at times. My chest, palms, neck, throat… It comes and goes, but the recognition of its existence has led to discovery, treatment options, and deeper reflection with more robust conversations with those who can help or at least commiserate.
The Management
We all have a method because unfortunately, we all deal with this shit. No one way is perfect, and no medication is 100% effective, but it’s all in an effort to drive change. I’ve been in a place where I felt like I conquered it, and then the next week, I feel inhibited by it. That’s okay.
At first, I definitely went to the green as a way to cope, and that wasn’t smart. It became excessive, and thankfully I don’t have an addictive personality, so I dialed that back. My first big breakthrough was literally just talking about it with friends – that acknowledgment noted at the beginning of this article. There’s something so incredibly comforting about someone saying “yeah, me too.” It’s the indication that you’re not alone in the fight. You identify your support group or influential person and work to find a method that works for you. For me, I’ve found solace in writing, the podcast, exercise, conversation, and believe it or not, CBD.
Writing: Blast through the fear of recognition and delve deeper into what could be irking you. Instead of letting your thoughts run rampant at 2am, write them down and turn the page. You’ve unlocked the chest and transferred thoughts to a more concrete place. Turning that page after letting those thoughts loose can be one of the most rewarding feelings, and then one day, when you’re ready, go back and see how far you’ve come.
Creative Outlet (for me, the podcast): A wise man once told me if you wake up not excited for the day ahead, you need to take note. If that feeling persists each morning for days on end, you NEED to make change. I was in a place where my life and my work weren’t fulfilling whatsoever. Stuck in a rut that I created. I didn’t know what my outlet would be, but it has become time invested in Tough To Say. I derive so much purpose from this, and that leads to exploration and enjoyment. Rather than over-analyzing on what your outlet could be, just try something and see if it sticks. If that doesn’t work, try again. You have unlimited attempts. The worst thing you can do is become stagnant.
“If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they pay good.”
– Deion Sanders
Exercise – I know Rogan is big on this, but fitness & nutrition are instrumental in mental health. It’s purely scientific. We are nothing without our health. Gut health, body structure, body image; the list goes on. Our bodies are the best asset we have, even if you feel otherwise. I’ve found a great deal of relief with the stressors in my life through virtue of working out. You don’t have to be bench-pressing 285 (I’m certainly not), but even going on a run to clear your head will most definitely provide respite from whatever is going on in your life. When your body feels good, your mind can breathe.
Conversation – Don’t be scared of public perception. This is your life. You gotta talk about anxiety with trusted sources, or you’re gonna go crazy. Simple as that.
CBD – Medication freaks me out. I’m much more of a natural guy – classic hypochondriac thing to say. I used to work in an office like the rest of the world, and mine was a high stress environment. I needed something that would help me balance, but I didn’t want to become dependent. A good friend of mine recommended I try CBD, but not that fugazzi ass shit you can buy at a gas station – like for real, properly extracted, reputable products. That’s why I push Amma Healing as much as I do. I use this stuff in my own life, and all it does is bring me back to center. You can call it product placement, but believe me, they don’t pay me to say this. In fact, they don’t pay me at all. I just push it because it’s a belief.
You’re not alone. I don’t know what I’m doing either. We’re in this together.
About The Series
Sometimes you gotta set your own deadlines to get where you wanna go. 15 articles for 15 weeks, all randomly selected until we reach the last. Maybe then I’ll form the habit? Each week selected and announced through TikTok if anyone cares.
Graham Olney
Graham is the host of Tough To Say (sorry, Barry). In hopes of forming better writing habits, he’s committing to a 15 week self-imposed program to sharpen the skills.